His name was Billy Thorton
He saw some baubles and he bought them
Baubles of green and baubles of blue
Billy was shocked he swore he would sue

For Tescos had said on the packet most plainly
That the baubles within were pink and red mainly
He saddled his horse and off Billy rode
To Tescos' headquaters with his astonishing load

"These baubles are defects", the manager said
"You must find the designer and cut off his head"
So off he did set, a blade in each hand
He searched high and searched low til' the world he had spanned

When the whole world was search-ed he sat by a stream
"There must be some valley where I have not been"
So Billy purchased a map of an unknown kind
A map of valleys deep and of mountains unclimbed

And off he did set, this most daring of chaps
With only his bauble, two blades and his map
Oh the treachary met along the way:
A kind witch, a gargoyle, a wizard most gay

For nie on two months Billy's arse he did ravage
But one day whilst clubbing he was killed by a savage
That savage later proved to Billy's discontent
The designer sought after, whose death he had meant.